Her Side Funnies

This post follows “Slipforming, part 10, More inspiring ideas.”  For a complete list of links to all slipforming posts on this blog, click here.  For more comical posts, click here. 

10.  As siding goes, rock siding holds up better when wives and teenagers drive into it.  (Yes, I did back into my house with the loaded truck in 4-wheel drive reverse – which means the truck seemed to keep going backward long after an ordinary vehicle would have stopped.  House?  Fine.  Truck?  Very difficult to explain to husband…)

9.  “Rock Therapy” is a great punishment for teenage children who fight all the time.  Sending them out with a specific number of rocks to bring home, like 60 each, helps them resolve issues peacably.  This “therapy” led to the following true conversation: 

Ben, by phone from the county fair, “Hi.  Heidi’s refusing to help me clean out my goat pen even though I helped her with hers.” 

Me, in an eager voice:  “Oh, so you need MY help resolving this issue? 

Ben:  “Uh,…no.  Sorry, I dialed the wrong number.”  (click)

8. Lemonade tastes better after setting a “run” of rocks.  In fact, alligator urine would probably taste pretty good after setting a run of rocks….  (Hydration is very important with rock work and I came to appreciate ice water more than ever before in my life.  Lemonade was heaven in a glass.)

7.  Building a rock house quickly highlights “true” friendships.   Fake friends will find someplace else to go where the likelihood of having to help is less.

6.  Clothing costs plummet, as designer outfits are not only unnecessary, but impractical.  “Hey, do these bib overalls make my butt look big?”   Husband Ken and Dad repeatedly refused to answer this question….  Hmmm.  

5.  You never have to paint!  We owned apartments for over a decade and a permanent appendage to my hand was a wet paint brush.  I was always priming, painting, repainting, touching up, or starting over.  If I NEVER see another paintbrush, it will be too soon!!!  (We do have to paint the trim, but that is a cake walk compared to painting an entire house…every couple of years.)

4.  It makes family members suspicious.  Hiring my brother’s high-school son to help, I asked him to grab one of the 98-pound bags of cement for me.  He looked at me like I was kidding, and I said, “What?  They don’t weigh any more than a cheerleader!”  Of course, I had no way of knowing that he had, in fact, gotten in trouble at school a couple days prior by carting around a cheerleader.  Now the kid thinks I am a psychic witch with super powers.  That works for me! 

3.  Because, “In 300 years, this will make such great ruins.”  This was a statement made to me from a newspaper reporter who was photographing the project.  It was a disheartening concept because as I was trying to put it together, I was trying my best not to consider it falling back down. 

2.  It’s wood pecker proof!  And insect proof, and fire proof, and riot proof… 

And the hands down, number one top reason:

1.  It feels so good when you stop!

(See “Slipforming, part 12 – Repairing masonry blunders” for the next thread.)

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